Today has been a fascinating day. My brother left for his first solo trip to Krabi, I bit my lip while chewing on a hash brown (that would definitely leave one-week long canker sore) and I just did the dishes. All these activities have no relation to one another nor what I am writing about.
The date is September 13th and I am reflecting on the many things that has happened in 2018. Again. I'm going to continue writing about reflections and self discovery. Bear with me, kay?
So here goes:
At the beginning of 2018, everything seemed to have worked itself out. I was on the path to creating the lifestyle that I dreamed of. I was travelling, I had a job I wanted, just gotten accepted into a top university in Malaysia for my Masters and I was riding the Bitcoin high. It was bliss.
But steadily all these came crashing down abruptly. It felt like whatever could go wrong, went wrong. I did not take it very well. I was a mess and a constant pity party. I thought I was done paying my dues and I didn’t feel like I deserved any of this.
How privileged that mentality is, right?
It was ego. And the ego when left unchecked breeds ignorance. At that point, I did not realise that I had grown my ego to the size of the Great Wall of China and further barricaded it with missiles.
Reality had decided I needed a heavy slapping session. See, I was too satisfied with what I thought I knew and too confident that with everything I already had lined up, life was going to be only a straight ride to paradise.
How naïve, so naïve.
Nothing really belongs to us. How often have we been so sure of a win only to have it taken away at the final call? Sometimes we fail to notice the pitfalls until its too late. We ignore the cracks until the weight collapses and suffocates us.
The only thing I could do was to keep moving forward. Luno gets blocked for dodgy transactions? Just move on. Lost your job? Don’t think, keep moving. Bank account drained? Perfect, don’t look, keep walking.
Entering my recovery phase with tonnes of help from close friends, we listed three things that I could do:
1. Invest in knowledge. Read, watch videos, anything. Absorb.
2. Break out of your comfort zone. The thing about our comfort zones is that you never know the extent of its stretch until you test it.
3. Talk to more people regardless of creed, belief, colour, sexual orientation and whatever it is that divides us.
And wow, did this help. The belief that “The more you know, the more you realise you don’t” is beginning to ring true now. I find myself wanting.
There are craftsmen, patiently and meticulously perfecting their art. Never resting, carefully honing. And I admire that resilience and continued passion.
Now, I don’t think anyone will ever be done or would ever have a perfectly straight road. We’ve got so much to discover in this journey and like Aerosmith’s infamous song, I don’t wanna miss a thing.