Confession time: I used to call in sick for work at any opportune time. Minor backache? Sick! Drowsiness? Woohoo, I’m sick. Getting the cold was a bonus, having fever was heaven sent. But now I just think those thoughts were incredibly stupid and naïve. I was taking my young, healthy body for granted.
I was wishing it would slow down to the capacity of a dying person for one day. I wanted it weakened JUST so I wouldn't have to face my boss and clients for ONE day.
Now that I’m a student again working on a miniscule part time pay cheque, I’m beginning to miss the ease of taking sick leave. The companies that I worked for covered my medical expenses. But now, I can’t afford to fall sick anymore.
And the thing is, I don’t even want to be sick! I kind of wish I didn’t wish I was sick back then.
That’s right. I used to wish that I was sick. It would be so easy right? Then I wouldn’t need to come up with an excuse to prove that I was really not feeling well.
All I cared about was the medical certificate! That was my trophy for the day. I collected an entire assortment of pills and tablets but I never took them. I wanted to stay sick as long as I could.
Let me brag about how healthy I was.
Throughout the three years that I’ve worked, I’ve never gotten anything more than the cold (except for that one time in China)! And that was maybe once or twice a year. I was so utterly disappointed in my inability to just fall ill enough to legitly have a day off. But fatigue and stress I felt a lot. Those weren’t accepted reasons to warrant a day off, though.
Ever since I left my full-time job last August, my health hasn’t been at its best. I thought that maybe it was a coincidence. But after being constantly ill almost every month, I’m starting to believe in the Law of Attraction delivering its full karmic power a little late. (Show off!)
If you don’t believe me, here’s a list of what I’ve managed to catch:
1. I got the common cold almost every week after I left my previous job.
2. I managed to get two migraines.
3. I got tonsillitis that took 2 very long painful weeks to heal. I survived on ONLY yogurt and salt water.
4. Then I got diarrhoea twice.
5. Fever twice!
6. And I busted both my knees somehow. They just swelled up and I couldn’t walk for an entire week! I had to get a shot on my right butt cheek to ease the pain.
7. Ooh, and now my shoulder and neck muscles refuse to relax.
And these are probably just the ones I remember!
It’s REALLY stressful to fall ill so easily. When you don’t have the funds to go see a doctor, every visit counts.
Then WHY did you want to get sick so much?????
I did a lot of reflection on this. The thing is, I did all that because I was desperate for a lot of me time. There’s not much peace anyone can get from a job they feel the least passion in. Yes, I was also being lazy and trying to punch in and punch out from work by doing as little as possible.
And despite the Batman wannabes on LinkedIn parading their wisdom and love for their job, the common people (like me or only me) will hate their job at some point. There will be at least one phase where just thinking of Monday work piling and email juicing up is puke inducing.
I didn’t want to face my manager’s passive aggressive attitude about KPIs and SOPs. I didn’t want to face the sweet cheerful “How are you?” that everyone knew was fake. I didn’t want to face another client email. I just didn’t dare tell anyone that I wanted to get real and do things. But because I was unable to just stand up and tell people to fuck off, I wished I was sick and gone instead.
Life still moves on though
I’ve been working on a few personal projects lately and I’m super excited with bringing these projects to life. Honestly, I’ve taken on more than I can manage and being sick too frequently is slowing me down.
It's so irritating when you want to keep moving but the body insists that you can't. But I’m trying my best to fight through it and get things done. It might be slow but things are moving.
I found it really surprising that I would dread being sick and that I actually look forward to attending classes and work.
The corporate me would’ve been on Netflix celebrating the day off, instead.
So maybe the Law of Attraction really does exist? Maybe something somewhere out there is listening to what you want and delivering it to you at life's pace. If that's the case, then from now on, I'm going to want to be happy and rich, and becoming these are all I will push out into the universe. MWHAHAHHHAHA.